How much more belief do you have in your vision, than fear?” – NISHTHA DUBE
In conversation with a mindset coach that has over 16000 followers on Tiktok and we touch subjects such as dealing with anxiety as creators, how to navigate through comparison/ feelings of jealousy, and advice for mindset coaches wanting to start with Tiktok.
Enjoy the episode!
If you are someone who’s been thinking about starting a podcast and has no clue where to start, DM me the word “podcast” on Instagram and I am happy to point you towards some resources.
Highlights from this episode:
[0:50] What is your story?
[5:20] How did you go from a mindset of “I’m doing this for fun” to “I’m going to be more intentional about it”?
[7:45] What were some of your fears?
[10:25] What would help people out with anxiety when they’re starting out with content creation?
[12:45] What are ‘still spaces’ and how can someone create them?
[23:43] How do you navigate through comparison?
[36:12] What is your advice for someone who wants to start on Tiktok?
Connect with Nistha:
Website
Instagram
Youtube
LinkedIn
Facebook
Tiktok
Podcast
Clubhouse
A little bit about Nistha:
Nistha’s mission is to help people listen to their inner voices and cultivate intentionality in their daily lives. She attended Virginia Tech University and graduated earlier this year with a Bachelor’s in Cognitive & Behavioral Neuroscience with a second major in Psychology. Today, Nistha creates informational content across social media and mentors individuals in achieving their personal and professional goals. Her long-term mission is to create intentional learning in schools across the world and empower individuals to live a life of purpose. She recently published her first poetry book, beyond the skin, now available on Amazon!
FULL DISCLOSURE: Some of the links below are affiliate links, which means that when you click the link to purchase, it may give me a commission with no extra cost to you. Which is pretty awesome since I was fully planning on sharing these with you anyway.
Resources mentioned:
Beyond the Skin by Nistha Dube
Transcription:
Mahrukh Imtiaz
You are listening to the Spicy Chai podcast. I’m your host, Mahrukh Imtiaz. And my mission with this podcast is to bring you the voices of content creators who are just a bit ahead of you. People you can relate to. You can hear about their struggles and wins and learn from their mistakes so you don’t have to make the same mistakes. My hope is that this podcast inspires you to start putting your voice out there and creating content consistently so that you can make the impact you want to make with the skill you already have and start creating the life you want to live.
So grab your cup of Spicy chai and let’s get this show started.
Hey, what’s up beautiful welcome to Episode 24 of the Spicy Chai podcast.
Today I’m speaking to a mindset coach and we taught subjects such as dealing with anxiety as creators how to navigate through comparison and advice for mindset coaches starting with TikTok.
And if you’re listening to this podcast and believe you need to have your own podcast and I completely agree with you and DM me the word podcast on Instagram. Links and show notes and I’m happy to point you towards some resources and who after the episode.
Today’s guest is on a mission to help people listen to their inner voices and cultivate into
oh my god, intention intentionality. And I’m gonna keep that in the the episode because you guys need to know that I make mistakes.
So today’s guests not taking anything away from her. She’s awesome. Because not only are she written a book Beyond the Skin that’s on Amazon. She is a podcast host. She runs a YouTube and Instagram channel. And she’s almost touching 15,000 followers on Tiktok. Wow. And did I mention that she’s only 23.
Welcome to the show Nistha.
Nistha Dube
Thank you so much for having me. I’ve been watching your posts on Instagram and Tiktok for a while and seeing some of my good friends on there. And it’s just so cool to be able to connect, I think you and I first met on clubhouse and then kind of stay connected via social. So I’m just excited to be here today and kind of dive deeper and get to know you as well.
Mahrukh Imtiaz
100% or percent. So for everyone listening. I mean, I know your story. I’ve been following you for a while I listen to your podcasts. I’ve watched your TikTok. But for everyone listening, what is your story? What got you started? Like? Why did you start creating content?
Nistha Dube
Yeah, so that’s a really good question. For me, it was always this inner knowing of, I wanted a very creative career path, I wanted to kind of pave my own way, if you will, and work for myself, I always knew this about myself. And so college was always difficult for me in the sense that I never could fit myself into a major and all my friends know this, my roommates know this, people would always be like, oh, sorry, you changing your major again, because I was like, I can’t narrow myself down into one thing. And so I ended up double majoring in neuroscience and psych even though I tried national studies, I had minored in Spanish, I had tried journalism as well for a bit. So I’d really been across the board. But I knew that I didn’t want to be a doctor or a psychiatrist or go into research. So any of the conventional career paths that one would go into in one word, like when you’re Brown and expected. Yes, totally. Yeah, definitely. And it’s funny that you say that too. Because like I was never expected from my parents, it was never, for my parents. It was like, This is what everyone does in the world. So like I have to, you know, it’s like, it wasn’t even so much about being brown. It was just like everyone I knew in neuroscience wanted to go into either academia or research or go to grad school or be like some pre health path, right? Every single person. I was like, I know that I don’t want to do that. But I love human behavior. I love the brain so much I love reading about it and the different regions and association of behavior is so fascinating to me. So I stuck with it. And then pandemic hit my senior year. And so March of last year, was just about to wrap up my senior year and graduate and then I came home was taking classes at home and I just kind of started making videos on Tiktok for fun with my friends like dancing videos, not thinking anything of it. And then I started coming across personal development gurus on there and I had been following Jay Shetty for a while and always really admired his work and how he kind of started this entire YouTube career which turned into this brand for himself. And so that had kind of been on my radar as well as all of these groups that I was seeing on Tik Tok. Again, I was just about to wrap up. So at this time, I was applying to conventional nine to five jobs because I assumed that would be the best fit for me to go into consulting because I enjoyed talking one and two having a behavioral science background, it makes sense to just go into consulting so all the pieces just fit there. And so I was applying to those jobs. I was hearing that but simultaneously there was you know, my inner passion almost for all of the self development and spirituality and mental wellness efforts and projects that I was seeing on social media and I was like this is really cool. Like what if I did this and so I fortunately it was at home and I was away from college because that’s where all the job fairs were happening. That’s where all the conversations were happening around me of my friends applying to like work at Facebook and I felt so I felt like an oddball and so I was really fortunate that I got that time at home away from all of that because that’s when I really dove into people like Haley Hoffman Smith Jason capital further into Jay Shetty his career and saw like
Nistha Dube
What did these people do to start this entire legacy only in their 20s. And I think a common theme across the board was that all of these people had one thing, which I didn’t have at that point, but it was that they believed in their vision, they just believed in it. So they kept doing it. And I didn’t have that I was kind of like, Oh, I’m just gonna resort to something that I’m not as passionate about. And so that’s when I knew that it was an inner work shift. So back in March, I basically just told myself, like, you’re gonna have to bite the bullet someday. What better time than a global pandemic when you’re forced to be in your house to just start making content? So it started from YouTube, which I don’t really do anymore, because I’m more focused on the podcast on tick tock on Instagram. But it started from that. And I was making weekly videos and then went into why don’t I experimental tick tock, because there’s a lot of scope here. And that’s kind of where I naturally started gaining a little bit more traction. Podcasting was never on my radar until the summer until some months later. And I was like, You know what, why not? Why not try everything like I have all the time in the world. And so that also gained more traction than I had expected, and actually kind of fell off of YouTube in that time. And I just kept going from there in terms of hosting webinars, just like cool online workshops, continuing to post content, obviously, we’ll go into writing the book, which was more recent now in my career, but yeah, it was just a very experimental thing where I was like, I have to do this one day and with time, my confidence in that began to build so I’m sure we’ll talk about that more as we go on. Yeah, no, that’s extremely interesting, because you just start kind of really went deep into all of this stuff last year. And you said, you started with YouTube, you said you did make some Tik Tok dancing videos here and there. So can we like, tap into that a little bit like, so what did that look like? Now going from like a mindset of I’m doing this for fun to then I’m going to be more intentional about that. What did that look like for you? Yeah, so it was funny because tick tock, again, that was like my kind of recreational period of the day where I would do fun trends. But at the same time, YouTube was a place where I was going into it with the intentionality of I’m going to make videos around spiritual wellness around personal development. So off the bat, end of March, march 27, last year’s when I posted my first ever video, off the bat, I knew what that channel was going to be dedicated to. And I was posting on that twice a week tick tock happened when I thought, Okay, I need to do more than just one platform. Because everyone’s doing that nowadays. No one just has that one thing, you have to really market yourself everywhere. So that’s about struck to me May May is when I’ve posted my first ever tic toc around Law of Attraction around what I would talk about on YouTube. That was an experiment to I was like, I don’t know how this is going to be because I’m so used to talking on YouTube, which was like, longer and I would have sort of this outline of different points that would go into it. Tick tock is like 15 seconds. And so I was like, I don’t know what I’m gonna say. Yeah.
Nistha Dube
Like, you have like three seconds to grab their attention. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Like, research shows. It’s like four to six. If it’s not there, then you’re done. And then you have to be posting like three times a day, which I was like, What is this? And so yeah, that was experimental. And I kind of was just doing it. I mean, maybe one video a day or something. And I was that’s the thing. It’s like, I kind of formatted them the same way to format my YouTube videos where there was like, they’re super super long. It took the entire minute, I was so detailed and explaining everything and I was like, Okay, this isn’t interesting enough to like grab people’s attention. So I started to try just different things on Tik Tok over time, different trends, audios, I would dance and put up text or I would speak I did little acting skits like the whole thing. And it’s funny because I think I’ve talked about this with some other creators, but you never expect the videos that end up going viral to ever. So yeah, totally, totally hear you. It’s like, Oh, this one I put zero effort in. Okay, great. So many views. And here’s one I scripted out, make sure the lighting was great. Made sure I was all well done. And then four views, right, like, like, every time? Yeah, that’s extremely interesting. So like, Can you talk us through a bit of what Tiktok has done for you? And actually, before I even get into that, obviously everyone’s starting off there’s some fears right and especially because you’re in the in the industry of mindset coaching, you know, and that’s one that’s a lot of people are currently misusing the word coach right and I’m pretty sure you face that a lot. Like I’m a coach, I’m a mindset coach and a transformation coach. So Did you face any of that when you were starting to create content? And if not, what were some of your fears? It’s funny that you mentioned the the whole controversy around the word coach because that’s something I encountered. Not anything that I faced personally, that’s something that I even discovered was like a, you know, an overly used label or title for people months into what I was doing. So when I initially started most of the fear was around just judgment what most most of us face right, just putting myself out there being on camera. All my friends know this, but before I started, I was private on Instagram. I only had 90 followers because I only allowed people to follow me who I either knew personally had had a really close interaction with in the past family roommates or really close classmates like that was it so I had 90 followers I was private. Let
Nistha Dube
Usually people would request me and I would just be like, I don’t need any energy. He’s not close to me, because I don’t know. And so to make that shift where it was just making my Instagram public first of all, then to go from that to posting a YouTube video about spirituality, which is something that I hit about myself for so long, and then do it on multiple platforms, it was a constant anxiety inducing type of like curve that I would hit every single time I would go to hit post. And I think as you do more and more, you become desensitized to it. So like, I remember my first ever Law of Attraction workshop I did on Instagram, where I just went on live for the first time in my life. I was literally about to like, I was so nauseous before, and then I would do it again and again. And I just wouldn’t get nervous. And so it’s the same thing with tic toc my first ever video that started getting views I like remember, when it would get traction, like any any video would get traction, I wouldn’t be able to go to bed at night because I’d be like, Oh my god, people are gonna leave hate. And now it’s like, okay, cool. I’m gonna gonna go to sleep. I see like comments coming in. But it’s not a big deal. It doesn’t have to define me. So I think the judgment, just navigating how you go about that is unique to everyone. It really depends on how much you fear that to begin with in the first place. And then in what manners you’re putting yourself out there. What types of comments people are leaving. So I think that’s another thing I’ve had to learn, like how to respond to negativity, which I think that you have to just face it to know how to respond to it. So yeah, I mean, pretty much to answer that question. I think that was my biggest thing. And that’s just conquering that fear of judgment is something that one picks up just the more and more they go down this path.
Mahrukh Imtiaz
Yeah. And you said to me, like, you got a lot of anxiety and nausea, totally, totally relate to that, honestly, all that anxiety, especially when you’re putting yourself out there daily, you know, you’re going to get a lot of love, but you’re gonna get a lot of hate. So for someone starting out, would you just say just keep doing it? Or are there other things that you would recommend that they can do to help them with that anxiety? Because that’s a very big thing for creators in general.
Nistha Dube
Yeah, I mean, I would say initially, like, the first thing I think that you should do as a creator, is to know why you’re creating, like, what is your mission? Are you creating for just the sort of vanity metrics of it? Like, I would ask yourself that? And if you are, that’s okay, right? Like, we all have material desires here and there. But really, I would sit back and do kind of like that personal reflection of what is this for? Who is it serving? What am I getting out of it? And what impact is it making? What are they taking away from it. So once you have that sort of really, really clear, then all of the external things that kind of come on top of that the fear of judgment, the imposter syndrome, comparing yourself to other creators, that will not be something that interferes with what you do as much right? It’ll come up here and there. Of course, we all do that we all have, we’re human, it’s how our mind works. But it’s not something that will haunt you constantly, if you know what you stand for. And that’s the thing and even if you have fear of judgment, on top of that, like me, I really, really struggle with judgment and putting myself out there, even though I know exactly like, what I want to do to help people I still struggle with it. So I would say if you’re someone who is more like me, where you know that you have to put yourself out there and send this message to the world, but you still like it terrified of hey, I would really step back and try and do that like journaling, some shadow work prompts about like, what is it about, you know, my image? Or what is it about the words of others that affects me so much? Like, where does it come from, do some inner work, do some deep diving to see if you can find if there’s a specific incident in your life that causes this trauma to come about? And if you can pinpoint that even therapy, I am a huge proponent of therapy. I think there’s so much to uncover there. And just mindfulness of course, like you know, me, I’m a mindset coach. So I’m always going to advocate for the odd but creating still spaces in the day. That’s how I started my entire freelance career. It all started for me having as I mentioned earlier, that detachment from being around college students who were talking about nine to five that came from having the still space in my house every single day to be like, Wait, I don’t want that. So you know, nice coffee
Mahrukh Imtiaz
That a bit and with more like what what are still spaces first? And how can someone create them a normal person who doesn’t know much about meditation or inner work or anything like that? Yeah. So
Nistha Dube
So when I say you know, still spaces, silence spaces, whatever you want to call them alone time, it’s really different for everyone. For me, it’s like taking walks without any stimuli. So I leave my phone in my house, and I’ll just go on a walk and it will just be me and my thoughts and I’ll pay attention to them. For some people that could look like an actual guided meditation, maybe you might play a podcast, Spotify meditation podcast or a YouTube guided meditation and just sit there and follow it see what comes up, maybe to us not having any stimuli and just sitting in pure pure silence maybe to some people it’s journaling. So I think it looks different for everyone. I think everyone’s energy is different and for me actually came in all of those forms for me silence spaces came from meditating from taking walks from journaling from sometimes honestly just sitting there and paying attention to like, what is that little voice inside me telling me does it really want this job? You know, or does it want something else and just noticing also like where your thoughts travel? Like, are you you know, You’re when you’re in school or when you’re taking exams or when your work like, do your thoughts travel to a different place where it’s like, what if I was doing that right now? Like, what if I was like a dancer? What if I was traveling right now? And for me, it would always be like that I’d be in school. But I would be like looking at travel bloggers and digital nomads and being like, how did they create that? So that to me, is my intuition speaking to me, like, hey, maybe this isn’t the right path. So just being observant of your own energy in whichever way that is relevant to you. And I think the same goes for inner work, you know, the term inner work can be used for a lot of things, it can be used for conversations that you have with your therapist, it can be used for journaling prompts that you might find online, or that you might find in therapy can be used for if you do like healing sessions, like Reiki or, you know, meditation or yoga, whatever that may be. So I think there’s so many ways to do inner work and just observe oneself. So yeah, those are just some of them. Those are ways to dabble into things and like, get started. I
Mahrukh Imtiaz
I love that. I love that. And I think it’s so true. Because even like starting off by teaching, people just think that when inner silence only looks like one thing, so I love that you mentioned that it could look like so many different things, depending on your energy. I love that. And I think it’s also about, I remember when I started meditation, I expected that I will be able to focus throughout that one minute. I was like, oh, you know, that’s what meditation is. You sit, you focus, and then boom, you’re done. And then when I sat, I was like, Oh, my God, what we were done with a minute, but I wasn’t even thinking about the guided meditations, I think it’s so important that you mentioned that, like, it’s so important, understand your energy and know that you’re not going to be good at it. You know, finding those still spaces is hard. You know, like, last thing. Yeah.
Nistha Dube
And I love that you mentioned that too, because I think that I was just talking about this yesterday with a friend. But we create so much judgment around ourselves and judgment when we meditate. And I find so many people telling me like, Oh, it’s so difficult for me to meditate. I don’t know how and it’s like, it’s supposed to be like your mind is designed to travel. So I think it’s unfortunate because I feel like the way that meditation is portrayed in Western society is like, you have to be still you have to be silent. You can’t have any thoughts. And if you have any thoughts, and it’s wrong, then you’re not meditating. And I think that in turn allows people to judge themselves when they do have thoughts and be like, ah, like, I screwed this whole thing up. I’m not meditating. I don’t know how and now I’ve lost hope. The biggest reframe for me that helped me actually properly meditate was when I did Jay Shetty is 20 days meditation on Instagram Live, he would just come on live every day. And we would just do it for 15 minutes. And every single day, he would say this, he would say if you have any thoughts that come into your head, accept them, invite them in, observe them do not create judgment around the fact that they’re there. And whenever you’re ready to let them go, just let them go without any pressure without any strain to it. And for me, that was when I was like, Oh my gosh, this entire process is so much easier than I’ve been like making it out to be for the past three, because I had been experimenting with meditation since I was maybe 1617. It was so difficult, then, because that’s the impression I was under like, oh, I have to have zero thoughts. Yeah. And so that’s the thing when you can create the acceptance and give yourself permission to embrace whatever is coming in your head, because your mind is designed to think then the stillness itself will naturally happen over time. It’s almost paradoxical in
Mahrukh Imtiaz
In that sense. So I agree, I agree. And then it there’s also like, noticing that you mentioned there was like you had the courage to a you got the stillness, which is great. Like, you know, you were able to find those spaces. And then you had the courage to make the decision that this is not for me, how did that come about? What did that process look like for you? And they’re like, do you get doubts all the time? Like, how do you deal with that when you’ve chosen a path that is not the common path, and you see all your friends doing something completely different?
Nistha Dube
It’s honestly probably would have struggled with the most for the past year, to be honest. So to start off with the first part of that question, basically making the decision to fully commit to this and not do the job. It was actually a wake up call I had it wasn’t even I don’t even know if the wake up call is the right term. But I obviously was aware that my intuition wanted something else at this point, you know, Rewinding back to March when I had the offer on the table, but I was still like, you know, looking at Haley Hoffman Smith and Jay Shetty and all their stories and kind of dreaming about this other life. I was on a call with my friend just telling her Yeah, I have this offer at this tech company. And everything just makes sense. It’s right by my house, and it pays well and it’s good and, and she was just like, you sound so unhappy, like talking about it. And I was just sitting there and I was like, still kind of almost making excuses. I was like, no, like, it’ll make sense, right? Like, I’ll just do it for a little bit. And then I’ll just see if I can travel and go teach English or something. And she was like, you just sound really unhappy. And I was just sitting there and I was like, yeah, like what is the point of this entire reality and life and obviously I totally understand if someone is in a situation where finance has to be a priority. Financial security needs to be a priority and in that case, do what you got to do but I understand that for myself. I am blessed like my parents have always provided for me. That’s never been a concern. So if I wanted to do this other path, which obviously wouldn’t bring that money in and stable basis at all, I still am privileged enough to try it at least I had that recognition of like, I understand that I’m blessed enough to do it. And I think that’s when it hit me of like, wow, what am I doing? Like, why am I just kind of settling when I have the opportunity to do something else. And I obviously have always felt called to that. And that’s the thing, too. It’s like, my parents have always recognized that in me where they have always said, like, you’re so good at writing and communications, they’ve never pushed the traditional Indian. That’s
Mahrukh Imtiaz
That’s so nice. That’s so nice to hear that your parents have been so supportive.
Nistha Dube
Yeah, always. And I think that’s kind of what really, really helps. Because I think if they hadn’t been I don’t think I would be doing any of what I’m doing right now. And so, yeah, it was pretty much the conversation with her. And also my parents were like, Mr. Why are you applying to jobs if you don’t even want to, which was really, really nice, because like, all my friends around me, were getting pressured from their parents to like, start a job. And so I was sitting there, and I was like, I’m just putting this pressure on myself, it’s only coming from me, it’s coming from me because of the friend group that I was in, to be honest. So that’s what my first YouTube video was, for me, march 27. When I posted that first video, it was not just like, Okay, we’re gonna see what happens. It was kind of like a mental decision in my mind of, I’m not going to do the job. I’m going to do this. And a part of me in terms of like transitioning into the next part of that question where you asked about doubts, there were parts of me that were like, okay, just be aware that I might have to apply to jobs again, like it might not be that specific one that I turned down, but just be aware that maybe like, I will apply to nine to five, maybe this YouTube stuff just won’t work out, there was definitely a doubt in terms of how far I would even go with this entire content creation career, I had no like concrete vision, or a step by step plan of what I was going to do. So there was a part of me that was like, Okay, you’re probably going to end up at a job later on. But like, just try it. For now, it was interesting, because every time that I would put myself out there in a new way, it was almost like a little piece of validation would kind of come back to me. And I’m obviously a huge believer in the universe, and God and everything like that. So for me, the way I viewed that was like, the universe is validating that I’m on the right path for myself. So by those little glimpses of validation examples of that are like when I started my Instagram workshop, the law of attraction workshop, I would just have hardly few people coming in. But then like, people would just come to that whoever would come, I would get like a DM saying, hey, like, how do I work with you? And I was like, Oh, my gosh, what the heck, like I haven’t even decided to be a coach yet. And then I did this webinar on LinkedIn, where I just advertise it on LinkedIn. It was like a zoom webinar. And someone happened to join there were only like five people on the call. And someone happened to join who worked with this nonprofit that I used to follow in college. She emailed me and was like, Would you like to make a workshop for our nonprofit and come speak with us? And I was like, What the hell like what is happening? And so every time I did something different, it would just be like, either a message from someone being like, hey, this video or this post really helps me thank you for posting this or someone asking to do some kind of joint project together, or someone asking to work with me one on one. And I was sitting there and I was, this is probably what I meant to do. Like this is probably, you know, if this isn’t my deal, and all purpose, this is at least the right path for me. I’m helping people in the most organic way I can. And at this point, it’s like Mr. It would be a shame for you to do anything else knowing that you’re helping this many people. So that’s what it was that kept me going. And that’s what it was that allowed me to this day, to be honest, I don’t really have those doubts of like, oh my gosh, I need to be I definitely have like phases where I’m confused. I’m like, I don’t know what what I want next. But it’s not a being a creative. Yeah, right. Like, it just happens. But it’s not like as frantic as like, oh, I need to get a job, you know. And then the last part of that, yeah, dealing with friends being in a in the nine to five and in grad school and doing the traditional stuff that’s been really tough, because I don’t really hang out with a lot of people to be honest, like my closest friends are all like people I’ve met in this journey. So they’re all over the place. They’re all over the world. And so it’s we’re blessed to have Wi Fi and technology because I’ll call them all the time and I’m really, really close with my online friends. But I don’t really hang out with too many people in person in my hometown, because I think it’s kind of that mentality of like the five people that you surround yourself with the most are the people you kind of become like, and I want to be really cognizant of that. Right? Like if I want to stay in freelance and I want to keep excelling in this career. I want to surround myself with more of those like entrepreneurial creatives, more of those free spirits. I personally love travel and I want people who just are as spontaneous as me. And so that was something I had to be really mindful of, of like how do I create enough distance where it’s not like a drastic it’s not like I’m ghosting anyone but at the same time, like I am allowing friendships in my life that challenged me that serve me that really promote my growth in the direction that I know that I want to go in. So that again, for me was the toughest thing to navigate. I’ve heard from other creators it’s also been like their toughest, most difficult challenge, but it’s kind of what you sign up for too. So true.
Mahrukh Imtiaz
It’s true. It is and I think I definitely agree like that was so definitely toughest for me as well like to be able to surround myself with more entrepreneurs, especially because you grew up with certain friends and you it’s also becoming a Okay, we’re outgrowing certain friendships like, you know, being okay. Like, I’m not being egoistic, I’m not being arrogant. This is just part of my journey. And I think it’s also okay to you can grieve like I, I do get, like sad about losing certain friendships because I’ve grown them, but it’s also okay, so yeah, I totally agree like, being so intentional about that. And then I think I do want to say like, what I really, really liked about what you said there was a lot of pressure was coming from yourself. That’s the truth in general, like supportive parents, non supportive parents, where you live, what not, I would say, 80% of time for privileged people like ourselves pressures coming from ourselves. It’s like, there’s not really like, yeah, there are certain people who need to be paying the bills, and all of that I agree. And I’m not talking to them. But it’s generally like, Oh, my God, I have to do this. Why? Well, I just have to do it, because I have to prove to the world but I really liked how you were able to separate from that. You also talked a bit about like, you were impacted a little bit like by jealousy comparison, all Wu understood that those are part of human emotions. I know comparisons a big thing for creators. And that’s why I want to tap into that a little bit. How did you navigate comparison? Because that happens, even with certain friends, you get jealous? You don’t have to act on that. But you do it. How would you like coach people to help get through that piece?
Nistha Dube
Yeah. And it’s funny, I was just having a conversation with my friend the other day, because he was telling me like, this crater is like, so just like her content site, like I don’t understand. And I was just telling him, I was like, yeah, like, that’s really natural. It’s okay. But also, do you know why you are creating like, that is what it’s come comes down to? Not even Do you know why you’re creating? Do you believe in why you’re creating? That’s the question, because if you don’t, then all of those things will easily come into your way. So for me to be honest, because I know what I’m creating Sure, I have moments where I’ll look at other creators and be like, they have more followers than me like, but it’s so rare that I do that, to be really honest. And so whenever I do, I just kind of easily talked myself out of that. I say, well, mister, like you are going to eventually that’s coming for you like you’re on the verge of getting there. So I try and challenge myself to create that patience of maybe what are some things that you’re not doing that this creator is like, is there a reason that they’re growing at this rate, and you’re not? I recognize for myself very early on. But it was a mental block for me that because of my deep, deep, deep fear of judgment, I’m resisting my own growth. Because I think that our thoughts carry energy. Obviously, it’s when I talk about our thoughts carry energy. And so our fears carry energy as well. And I believe that our fears play out into our material reality. That’s something so so on talked about. So I think people oftentimes in this world think like, oh, my gosh, like, what am I doing wrong? I’m probably not using the right candidate templates, or I’m not using the algorithm correctly, or, Oh, I don’t look as good. That’s why I don’t know. I’m like, It’s not that it’s a mental thing. Right? Like, sure strategies helped tremendously, like hashtags algorithm posting consistently, those things have truth, I’m not gonna lie, one of my closest friends is in marketing, and like, She’s incredible. And I see the work that she does and how much she helps her clients with those strategies. But behind that is the mindset if the mindset isn’t there, if there’s more fear than an understanding or an intentionality of what you’re doing that is going to really really stunt how other people see you. So that’s something that I really want to encourage people to be aware of like, right now, if you’re in a place where you’re comparing and you’re upset that maybe the followers aren’t there or focus more on the inner work, like what needs to shift internally inside of you. How do you need to view yourself differently? Again, for me, I recognize that this fear of judgment is what was taking over for me. So I began to do like EFT, tapping Emotional Freedom Technique around specifically fear of judgment, I began to do journaling, affirmations, therapy, because I recognize that if I want to grow on social, if I want to keep expanding, there have to be inner shifts within me that are occurring simultaneous to all of the work that I’m doing. I also recognize this in me pretty easily, because I feel like strategically, I’m doing all the things you know, like I’m meeting, I’m hitting all the benchmarks, but my growth is still actually quite slow, relatively compared to other creators. And I know it’s because I’m almost self sabotaging my growth, because I’m scared of people seeing me I truly am. So that’s what I would encourage people to do is like, figure out where that fear lies in you. Maybe it is a strategy thing, maybe your mindsets on point, and you’re there. And maybe you just haven’t grasped the strategy yet. So try and figure out how you can do that. And yeah, if if it’s more of like, You’re doing all the right things. But if for some reason you’re not seeing clients, you’re not seeing followers, you’re not, you know, getting the numbers that you would like, then I would really encourage you to maybe step back and go inwards, and kind of detach from the outcome. That’s kind of what I’m working on right now to detaching from the numbers because I know that things need to change within me internally, so I personally don’t struggle too much with jealousy of any sort. Or I would say comparison it is more of like, Oh, why am I not growing as quickly? I definitely am hard on myself in that aspect. But not so much jealousy because I think I really really know what I stand for and what I’m doing and I really believe in that continuing to grow if that makes sense.
Mahrukh Imtiaz
It does. It does for me. I was like oh, when you said I don’t think I’m doing like growing as compared to other creators. You’re probably looking at other creators and I’m Looking at this, I’m like, Oh, I think she’s growing really well, like, you know, oh, look at her. Yeah. So goes back to like how we put all this pressure on ourselves and like, we are our biggest critic, but you’re absolutely right there. And the thing that you mentioned there, like you said that, you know, hashtags, do count, marketing does count and all of that, and you just start creating last year. So what are some things that have been the most beneficial for you in the last year? What are like the 20% of the things that you felt gotcha, the 80% of the results,
Nistha Dube
Who I really liked, I’ve never been asked that. And I’ve never so you just mean strategically,
Mahrukh Imtiaz
Or strategically or even mindset wise, like whatever, like, you know, it’s yeah, I’ve
Nistha Dube
I loved that question. I really have to think about this one. So I think from I feel like this one is almost self explanatory. If everyone knows me, you know, that I’m about to say this one. And I just said it in the last response, it’s detaching from the outcome, like not being attached to whatever is going to come from that one post from that one video from that one story, whatever it is, it’s posting, because you give a shit about it. I hope I can Christmas. You can. Okay, cool. But it’s like, it’s literally posting because you give a shit like because you care. And you like want to put it out there and not being attached at all to like, Oh, I hope this specific person sees it, or I hope I guess, no, it’s just putting whatever is out there because it’s impactful to you. But it almost goes back to that point that we were talking about where it’s like the most random videos go viral. It’s kind of like that mindset where it’s like you don’t even try and that’s when you’ll be surprised. Obviously, for those longer more scripted videos that you put a lot of effort in to do that. If you care about it. Like if you care about it, please continue to do it doesn’t matter who sees it, maybe one day can pick up the algorithm will pick it up and it’ll blow up. Or even if not, who cares? Maybe the right eyes will see it. And maybe that only means 20 views, right? You never know how things work. But that’s one thing. It’s like be detached from any outcome and just post because you want to post period. That’s like I would say number one. Second, I’ve made some other videos on this too. But it’s like I would say actually, I would say my first is to like believe in what you’re doing. I think I’ve started that to begin with. These are all going to be I think mindset just because that’s the angle I’m coming through. But first of all, we believe in what you’re doing. To be honest, I think second would be detached from the outcome first would be just like understand what you’re doing and not allow anyone to affect that. Very, very cliche, but like I understood how important the whole Believe in yourself cliche was only last year, like you hear that your whole life. You hear that growing up in school, and I was like, okay, cool, whatever, like believe in yourself. Like, what does that mean? I understood it this year, because believing yourself the true understanding of that overused cliche only falls in when people around you actually don’t believe in what you’re doing, you will see that when you go down this path, you will notice jealousy out of nowhere from friends who you thought would be like, you know, there for you all the time, you’ll notice people like not acknowledging what you’re doing who you know, even their friends just like turn a blind eye. Like so weird. And like
Mahrukh Imtiaz
And like your life. That’s not being acknowledged at all. Yes, totally understand that. Yeah. So
Nistha Dube
So we Yeah, and like, what? And so then people that’ll tell you straight to your face, whether it’s haters, or it’s family members, whatever, like, what are you doing? Are you like, Okay, what, what is this? So that’s the thing of your life. Literally, like, this is like, not going to take you anywhere. And so that’s what I mean, when I say really think about the term believe in yourself and allow that to marinate and sink in. Because if that’s not there, anyone else’s opinions will interfere easily, you’ll almost look for a reason to self sabotage. If you’re too scared to begin with, like, that’s the thing. Like, yeah, you could be someone who wants to create content, but if a bigger part of you is fearing creating content, and then you have a friend who’s like, yeah, there’s no point like, that’s kind of weird. And then you have a parent who’s like, it’s not gonna take you anywhere, you’re gonna be like, oh, cool, like, that’s more safe. That’s more safe for me to stay here. And you’ll do it. So when I say Believe in yourself, I’m not trying to say it in the cliche way. But I’m trying to say it in a very practical like, percentage wise, if you were to break it down, how much more belief do you have in your vision over fear? Like ask yourself that? And if there is more fear, that’s so so normal, right, like create that acceptance for yourself. But if there is more fear, maybe make a game plan of like, how are you going to respond to people when they maybe critique you or give you certain feedback? Or plant doubts in your head? Like, how are you going to respond to that? How badly do you want it? So that’s what I mean when I say that have that reflection period of like, like, literally, if you were to break it down or rank it on a scale of one to 10? Where does the belief in this vision lie? So start there, that would be number one. Number two, definitely detach from any outcome, just post organically, whatever you want to post. And I think third, this is almost more like strategy, but it’s also kind of mindset. Just keep experimenting and trying new things and telling stories like this is like a few things in one but like, it’s all a game. It doesn’t have to be that serious anything. Like my friend the other day was like, What do I need to do because I’m trying to like manage this page and I’m like, just have fun, like, the creators that really get big. They all have something really unique about them that they did differently, right. So like, add that flow. air into yourself. I think in our society, we’re so used to looking at like, almost rubrics of how things have to be done. Like we’re given that in schools since we’re like, children, right? Like we’re, we’ve been put into standardized education, we’re so used to being given numbers and like letter grades and being put on rankings, that it’s like when we actually have this ability to create this entire new legacy in this brand. We’re looking for other people, like how do I how do we do it? Like, I need to show up? How many times a day which hashtags do I need to use? Like, how do I like max out that whatever. And it’s like, just just experiment, trial and error, like trying new things, don’t be afraid of like, whatever could possibly be whatever could possibly come because you’re on the internet, right? So it’s like, even if you’re scared of hate, which is my biggest fear, you can block them, right? You have every single power in your hands. And if you’re scared of launching a course or a program where like, no one signs up, like so what do it again, so like it’s life, right? And it’s also fun, and you have the entire autonomy over this brand like that is so much freakin power. So use that to your advantage. You’re not a pawn, right? Like this is your thing you literally are like spearheading this entire idea, this legacy. So I would just say like, keep showing up in different ways. And when I said the word storytelling, it’s like if there’s something unique about your story, and your path, share that because every time I share how I turned down like a nine to five, my senior year when the pandemic hit, and I did this that’s always attracts people. People always come to me and say, How did this happen? How did this start? And so don’t be afraid to keep telling your story over and over. Don’t be afraid of your story, being boring about your story being overused about your story being too privileged. That’s something I think about too much where I’m like, Well, my story isn’t that I was like a refugee from like, a foreign country. And I came here poorly. That’s not my story. My story is very, like, Yes, I know, I’m privileged. And I still chose to do this. That’s okay. There’s other people like that, who can relate to your story. I know, there’s going to be people like me who look like me who are in their senior year of college and are like, Dude, I don’t want to do this. And so that’s who I speak to, I think that would be another thing. It’s just like, know your audience, and you’re gonna build that over time. You might not know initially, but once you start to know who they are, like, speak to them because these are real people. No,
Mahrukh Imtiaz
I totally agree. And I really like to believe in yourself, because you’re right, like it really gets tested when people don’t and then it goes back to what we said earlier, right? Like, that’s why it’s so important that we surround yourself with those five people, because they’ll kind of be your grounding. Like, hey, you got this when everyone else is like, Oh, what are you doing with your life sort
Nistha Dube
Sort of me those people and if you don’t have them, that’s why you need yourself like that. Yourself comes from because until you don’t find those people, it’s all new. This
Mahrukh Imtiaz
This drew I want to take this conversation in a different direction right now. Because I’ve had a lot of people who are mindset coaches and transformation coaches, and they’re very big on LinkedIn. And they’re always asking me like Mark Should we just started tick tock and I was like, You know what I have just come in on so I’m going to ask her so like for everyone I know us people who are who’ve either like been in the been a coach for 10 years, they’ve been creating content. What advice would you have if they want to start on Tik Tok? How has that been for you? And what advice would you give them? Yeah,
Nistha Dube
This is a question that we were about to hit earlier. Like what is done for me? Yeah, it’s like, so I started on Tik Tok. Again, just experimenting, I started with a very much like YouTube format, because that’s what I was used to. And I was like, This isn’t working. So start on tick tock. And like, that’s the thing. There’s so many different directions you could go in, you could tell your story there. You could have it be more informative. You could have it be more of you dancing and pointing the textboxes. You could have it be audio skits, like anything the world is your oyster on that app. So I would just get on tick tock, first of all, create your profile and just start looking at other people in your niche in your industry. If you know what you want to post, like I assume right now talking to specifically look at other mindset coaches see what they’re doing. That’s kind of what I did. When I started, I was like, oh, people are doing pointing trends. Let me just dance and do pointing trends that I got to a place where I was just like, oh, is it unprofessional to dance and talk about my like, no one’s doing that. And then I found mindset coaches dancing and talking about mindset. And I was like, cool, like, everything is possible. Again, like there’s no rules in any of this. So I would just explore what other people are doing. See maybe like specific things are posting about maybe if there’s like ideas that you have that you want to add on to that you can like now stitch or do videos, so you could add on your ideas. I had one where I was acting out my story of going to college not resonating with college, then, you know, discovering freelance, and that was my first ever sort of viral like, not really insanely viral, but still like my first video to ever hit 10k and not to stay in there like hundreds or 1000s. So I was like, Whoa, like, this is cool. It’s authentic, people are watching, it’s engaging. So that’s the thing. It’s like do whatever is natural to you too, and you will maybe only find that out as you start to make content for me. I realized what’s natural for me isn’t necessarily pointing and dancing anymore. It’s more speaking and using my voice but I did a lot of that more static like now Not talking and just wanting a different text earlier because I’d seen it all over Tik Tok. But I was like, that’s not really me, my videos that perform better are the ones where I’m just speaking. So see what works for you. Maybe you’re just a natural actor and you make skits. And like, that’s what goes viral every time. The thing is, you’re not going to know until you try. So I don’t have like concrete advice, I would just say, explore, keep trying new things. And it’s going to take that dedication and that commitment, and that time investment and energy until you’re like, Oh, this is my thing on tick tock, and even then keep trying different things. I mean, it could be up to you at that point, I have a friend who only does skits. And that’s the only thing now because they all perform so well. So it’s like just dedicated to that. But I think it just depends on what you do. I still like to keep mine all over the place. My videos, I do still do some dancing ones. But I think what’s worked for me naturally is like sharing a lot of my own authentic stories around healing are conversations I have with friends or in therapy. Those are videos that perform really well are random thoughts that I’ll intuitively just have. And I’ll be like, Oh, I should do this. And they’ll just talk. So to answer your question of like, maybe more strategically how to show up on the app, I don’t really plan content anymore. I don’t batch content anymore. I there’s like different types of creators. I learned this from my marketing friend, but one of them is like an intuitive creator, where they just literally post whenever they get an idea, which is me, I do that with every every single platform. I have never
Mahrukh Imtiaz
Never that intuitive creator. That’s cool. Yeah, I
Nistha Dube
I didn’t know that either. And I was like, oh, that’s me. I feel seen, like, I think so many people I know, like queue posts, or they batch content. I don’t really do that, to be honest. Like, I’ve never cued a post once in my life. For me, it’s like, Oh, I’m gonna post on Instagram now because I want to so I find a picture. And I just find an idea for like a caption or it’ll have come to me the weirdest times and I’ll be taking walks or I’ll be meditating. And then it’ll be a random thought about a conversation I had. And I’ll be like, oh, people needed to hear that. I would also kind of find what type of a creator you are like, Are you someone who is a planner? In that case, maybe batching. And saving drafts and having days that you’re going to post them is the route for you. For me, I’m the opposite. I’m very, almost chaotic, but not in like a messy way more of like, in a way that works for me. Intuitive, right? So that’s just that’s what works for me. So you’re gonna have to get on the app, and you’re gonna have to experiment is like my only answer to that.
Mahrukh Imtiaz
And I agree on it. I never seen your content you do experimental and I love that. Like I see different stuff all the time. And I think it shows that you’re confident. And also like with tick tock, I think it’s a very forgiving app. I don’t know if you’ve noticed that. Like for me, I feel like I can get away with a lot on that app. I know. The same way about YouTube. I feel like YouTube Well, things have to be high production. You know, all that stuff. But I feel like tick tock can be out of my bed talking. And I could go viral. So it’s like, or not even like viral, as you said. 10k 20k views. That’s a lot. So I definitely definitely agree with all that you said. I think today we’ve talked about courage. We’ve talked about decision making. We’ve talked about fears. And I’ve really loved how you were just so authentic when you were talking about it all and you were sharing all your stories, even from all your viewers. I really, really love that. Before we ask you your final question. Where can everyone find you online?
Nistha Dube
Yes. So on Instagram, I am Nyssa Dubay. That’s spelled n i s t HADUBE. My first and last name on my website is nested ebay.com. My Tik Tok is also at Nesta Dubay. And my podcast is called Rising. So if you type that in on Spotify, Apple podcasts, wherever you can find podcasts and then just type in my name after so it can narrow down the search you’ll find rising. Yeah. And then those links are in my bio. And my book is also called Beyond the skin and it’s on Amazon on Apple books, and on blurb ebooks. So if you can’t find any of that, you can just DM me on Instagram again, that’s at Nesta Dube and i s t HADBE. So yeah,
Mahrukh Imtiaz
100%. And they will all be in the show notes as well. So for that. And before we ask your final question, just want to thank you again for being here.
Nistha Dube
Thank you for having me. Fun. It was
Mahrukh Imtiaz
So what is one advice you would give the nista that had just started all of this last year? If you were to say that what is one thing that you could have done sooner as a content creator? Or what is one thing you could have done better as a content creator? What would that advice be to you?
Nistha Dube
Yeah, I mean, I think there’s so much that I’ve learned across the past year that I’m like, oh, man, like what is that? One thing? I would say? It’s just like continue showing up. It almost goes back to the Believe in yourself thing, which I don’t want to keep saying over and over. But truly like, did you say it? Yeah. It’s like, just keep showing up. Keep believing in your vision, stop looking for external validation and other people to validate you. I think that’s what it’d be. Because my most difficult thing was dealing with the friendships and all of you know navigating that. So stop looking for external validation, like create that assurance within yourself because if you create that within yourself and no one’s opinions will shake you sure they’ll affect you. We’re human right? Like you’ll get sad. It’s normal, right? But they won’t shake you to the point where you’re doubting yourself, you’re second guessing you’re thinking of other paths and other options which I was doing for a while whenever people would make a face or make a comment or not acknowledge me I was like okay let’s let’s run with this just continue to create that assurance in yourself and give yourself that validation because like there could be times where no one does that for you. And until no one does that for you, you’re gonna have to do that for yourself.
Mahrukh Imtiaz
I love that goes back to believe in yourself. Do not look for external validation. Oh, that’s awesome. Thank you again, for everyone listening if there was anything today and I’m pretty sure there was so much gold here that Nistha and I said, please share this episode with your friends. You can find both of us on Instagram, and we’ll have all her information in the show notes. And until next time, you got this beautiful!
Hey, if you are listening to this episode and are inspired to create your own podcast, then DM me the word podcast on Instagram. You will see it in the show notes as well and I’ll be happy to point you to some resources. Well Until next time, lots of love from your favorite. You got this beautiful!
