#012 – In this episode, Uthumi and I discuss how you can be the top 1% in any field. We talk about the fear of success and the kind of skills we need to start a blog.
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Highlights from this episode:
[4:14] How to be top 1%
[5:00] What kind of skills do you need to start a blog post today?
[8:35] If you were starting content today, what would you do sooner?
[12:00] How to deal with fear of success
[17:20] The message Uthumi would put on a bulletin board
Connect with Uthumi:
A little bit about Uthumi:
Uthumi is a high achieving corporate woman who rose up the ranks extremely quickly and is in a leadership position at a very young age. From day one, she has followed the South Asian woman timeline – go to school, graduate from university, get a job, and get married. She would like the most unorthodox thing she does to be more than wanting to become a mother in her late 30s. To break herself from this narrative, she ventured into content creation where she publishes about her dating experiences.
Transcription:
Uthumi Senanayake
You know, we talked about negative feedback. But I think also, positive feedback can also be your demise, too, because you get so caught up in your head, right? You’re saying all these really great things, but also like about my blog posts, and I appreciate it. But I kind of I’m kind of taking it in a way where I’m like, Okay, I gotta keep this level going.
Mahrukh Imtiaz
You are listening to the Spicy Chai podcast. I’m your host, Mahrukh Imtiaz. And I’m on a journey to create inspiring, helpful and meaningful content. This podcast is not going to showcase high-profile individuals spouting college advice, like find your passion or hustle harder. Instead, my mission is to bring you the voices of people who are just a bit ahead of you. People you can relate to, and the people who will inspire you to put your own voice out there.
So grab your cup of Spicy Chai, and let’s get this show started. Welcome to part two of my interview with Uthumi Senanayake. Part one is episode 12. So if you want to go listen to it, you can they’re both not very related, so you can listen to them separately. In part one, we talked about what to start, how to deal with different things that come on your heart and creation journey that you weren’t expecting, and how to deal with constructive criticism when it comes your way. And here’s part two,
Uthumi Senanayake
Which is that sometimes, you know, constructive feedback only comes solicited. And again, because I was still so new, I didn’t want to hear constructive feedback. So no one. And it’s something that I really admire in what you do. You know, every time you you, you post something new, whether it be a video, a picture, or a blog post, you said, you know, I usually always come back and think, man, that’s great. That’s awesome. And you’re like, Thank you. Thank you, thank you. But like, please also follow up with some like, constructive feedback, like, what could I have done better? Or if I did say something right off the bat, maybe we could have adjusted this. You say, Why do you feel that way? Right, like you pro more just to understand where the other individuals coming from? Where I began, I would have been like, Okay, your cut, right?
Mahrukh Imtiaz
I don’t need this for me, I don’t need negativity. Yeah. But
Uthumi Senanayake
But then it shows that your maturity in this field has also been growing to be constructive feedback and take it really well and know that things that listen and like, know, and make the other person feel heard. And the things that you want to incorporate versus things that, you know, maybe this isn’t for me, I’m just gonna park it aside and keep moving forward.
Mahrukh Imtiaz
Ya know, I really appreciate you saying that. And I think it came from realizing that a lot of people have really interesting things to say, because even in the beginning, when people would give me constructive feedback, I would somewhat take it personally, even though I knew that was like it was coming from a good place. These are people that I consider safe. Sometimes you’re just like, oh, what does that person know? They don’t know me, they don’t know my life. And so you start thinking, you’re a special snowflake, you’re different. And then you start recognizing, oh, my God know what they they said made sense. You know, and I think that’s when I realized that I don’t have to agree to everything you say, but I want to listen to it. So there are times when you yourself, give me advice, and I apply it and there are times when you give me advice, I listen. But I might not still do what you’ve asked me to do, because I don’t agree with it. But I will still listen. And I think that’s one one quality, I do agree keeps me from like, continuing to post and also keep people from like stopping like they don’t, they always want to come to me and give me advice. Because I will always let you know, hey, I took this advice of yours. And I will or I will let you know, hey, I actually didn’t go through with that advice. Because of ABC. It’s almost like I don’t let it just like, you know, fall through the cracks. And I you just keep wondering what happened with that advice. It’s, I close the loop. And I think that’s something when I started actually in the corporate world, someone told me, they’re like, if you want to be in the top 1% Just start closing the loop. Because 99% of the people they don’t close the loop. So same thing with like when you that time, I was doing a lot of networking events. So it’s like when they when they have the first conversation with you. You don’t hear if ever back but if you’re the one who says six months later, by the way, just FYI, I’ve gotten a job or I’ve met this ex person, your right away in the top 1% And it’s just as simple as closing the loop. So I applied that to content creation. Okay, how do I make sure I’m constantly responding to people, either in comments or through DMS or through WhatsApp messages hate this is what I took. This is what I didn’t take and this is why. So yeah, I appreciate you saying that. And you mentioned of Few things about like, you know, you did say that you started because it was fun. And I remember reading your first blog post and I thought, Okay, wow, she writes really well. It was really funny. It was really engaging. You know, you talked about how when you were walking, you were struggling to give the pictures and all of that. I mean, it’s hard to say, but I think a lot of this came very naturally to you. But if someone was starting off today, what do you think are some of the skills that made you good at it? I’m trying? Yeah, I know, because I feel like it somewhat came naturally to you, because the skills you had already developed through life. But, you know, what, what do you think those, let’s say, two skills were that may made you died good at this. And I, this is me, assuming you didn’t take any training, right? Like you didn’t write, take any writing training or blogging, training or anything like that.
Uthumi Senanayake
I think if blog posts aren’t your thing. I think we’ve been training for this really, like you said, again, like, for the conversation you’re writing down, right? That’s right. So we’ve been trading for that since day one. I think the second thing is, you know, in terms of the aesthetics, you know, where to put the photo, how to edit the photo, what photo is appropriate, how to format the blog. I feel like we do that, you know, when Facebook was once the hit right in 2007. You know, we were spending, like hours trying to figure out the best caption for our profile picture and brightness level was appropriate.
Mahrukh Imtiaz
So it’s true, true, it’s like stuff we’ve been doing all along, we just haven’t realized it. It’s a very good point.
Uthumi Senanayake
Exactly, exactly. So I think I think, you know, like, it was all subconscious, right. And so spending that time editing my photos, or again, like, try to think about what caption is interesting for this. What’s my Facebook training, and in terms of the content, it was all just conversations in my head and with other people,
Mahrukh Imtiaz
You know, and you make it sound so simple, but that’s what it really is. And that’s what I tell people when they’re starting off, like don’t think of like creating, just think of conversations you’ve had with people and just honestly, or just hit the record, run and have a conversation and then just transcript it out, or, you know, just post that video. There’s power in talking and having conversations where it’s just like, writing something that you think people will read, because then that makes it more of like a work presentation, then like something that’s engaging. So I know that you make that sound very simple, like, Oh, I just wrote down my conversations, but it is something I believe you’re very good at, like, you know, just writing down and capturing are the conversations the way it was. And again, I really liked how you said that. We’ve been doing this all along like Instagram, captions, Facebook captions, who what, what are people going to read more? What picture what angle should I take it out. So it’s just a good reminder that we have everything we need to start, we just convince ourselves otherwise, of everything, we develop the skills over the years, thanks to social media, to start posting more content. We just again convinced ourselves otherwise. And that’s a lot. That’s a big reason a lot of people don’t start so if you were to start today, what would you do sooner? Defy my motivation. Okay,
Mahrukh Imtiaz
Okay, I love that.
Uthumi Senanayake
Right. And it sounds really broad. But yeah, that’s where I could have done better last time. Because I did cover you know, the, the comments that I got before and some that I didn’t like, but I think also, you know, you’re gonna have people in your inner circle challenging you to write where, for me, I really love dating. I spend a lot of my time
Mahrukh Imtiaz
I know, I know.
Uthumi Senanayake
And so, you know, if I do restart, I would probably start somewhere in that theme, right in that realm of dating, right? Yeah. familiar with and I I’m really I really find it very interesting, right? But I also have to remember I’m married right and to a pretty traditional man. And so when I when I initially started right you know, I did from my from him. He wasn’t quite so sold on the idea of me sharing my dating experiences for the entire world to read. Right, right. And so so that was because I didn’t predefined my motivation, right? I’m just doing this for me because it’s fun. I also really like this content because it shaped me right? And I want people to hear and read my experience. Or or I’m just doing this because I can log my experience and read it again 30 years later. And this is a big part of me, right? So if I, if I, if I told myself that if I define that as my motivation, I could have easily had a conversation with my husband on that right and said, This is what’s driving me, this is why I want to do it. And I could have sold them on it. Right, right. The second I felt some type of lack of enthusiasm, I guess about my content for the blog. I was like, maybe it’s not worth it. And then I kind of, you know, just moved on to something else. Right. So, yeah, so So I think that’s something I will have to consider if I restart, right. It’s again, like, just define my motivation so that when people I really care about don’t get it, I can articulate it to them. And then of course, they’ll they’ll have their buy it right. But of course, that’s a conversation, never easy, but a conversation you have to have if it’s something that’s meaningful to you.
Mahrukh Imtiaz
I agree. I agree. And I think one more thing,
Uthumi Senanayake
Sorry, forgot to cover which was, you know, we talked about negative feedback. But I think also, positive feedback can also be your demise, too, because you get so caught up in your head, right? You’re saying all these really great things, but also like about my blog posts, and I appreciate it, but I kind of, I’m kind of taking it in a way where I’m like, Okay, I gotta keep this level going, right? I got to make sure I continue to be engaging, I got to make sure I’m fine. I can’t post something, if it’s not engaging, if it’s not fun if someone’s not gonna react well with it. Right. So you’re kind of putting this unnecessary pressure on yourself, when you do get the positive feedback. Right. Right. That
Mahrukh Imtiaz
That wanting to maintain that high level, it’s what it’s the curse of the viral video. Right? Then you want every other video to go viral? It’s kind of similar. Yes,
Uthumi Senanayake
Yes, definitely. Exactly. And then, and then again, it goes back to the motivation piece, because it’s what’s motivating me here, is that the likes, is it that x person thought it was engaging? Or is it? No, I really thought it was engaging, I really believe in my content. And I, I’m continuing to post right, it’s, it’s great, that person next thought it was funny, um, but I also thought it was funny, right? Like, constantly reminding myself that what’s motivating me is myself, right, that I’m believing the content that I’m producing, will also help me going forward. When an if I start content creation again, right?
Mahrukh Imtiaz
And it’s, it’s one of those things that you said, it’s about the balance, right? It’s being okay with getting the feedback and taking it as it goes. But not letting it get to your head that much. It’s okay. I got the feedback, I’m mature enough to take it, it might give me some perspective, but at the same time, or I like to use and more than about, and at the same time, it’s okay, if it’s something I’m not going to apply. And it’s funny, because one thing one more thing you mentioned that I wanted to kind of tap into a little bit more. It’s kind of the fear of success. Right? It’s, once you get good are quote, quote unquote, like decent at something and people start commenting. And they messaging you and saying, Hey, you’re doing really well, it does. It does make you bit scared, because you’re like, oh shoot impostor syndrome, or like, Oh, am I this good? Can I maintain this? And what would you say? How can people overcome that?
Uthumi Senanayake
I think it’s maturity in the field. I think it’s like, even aside from content creation, right? I think anything. Right? People say, Wow, you’re really good at this marriage thing.
Am I so I think it’s a certain level of developing the maturity, to to, again, not peg your success, but what other people’s feedback is, right. People are gonna say things, it’s their opinion, whether it be good or bad. And, again, just kind of just putting that in its place, I think is key, right? Having a daily mantra to yourself, writing your thoughts on on a piece of paper, or just again, you know, you’re in the washroom, you’re, you’re talking to yourself about what your day is and what you feel about yourself. I think that that makes a difference constantly reiterating to yourself what you believe and what you want to pursue, instead of thinking again about other people think that’s key, right?
Mahrukh Imtiaz
I think Yeah. And you’re right, and it goes back to again, the why if you have that written down, be it positive feedback or negative feedback. You can always go back to your why and say, I’m freaking out because either I’m worried it’s gonna be perfect or I’m freaking out that oh my god, this poor Listen has a different perspective or this person is hating on me, but this is my why. And this is why I’m going to continue posting. And I also say, you know, people say you have to be a disaster before you are the master, I always say you are the master and the disaster, like, you know, there are days we’re going to show up same content, you’re going to be a master and seem content, maybe, let’s say a week after might be a disaster. So it’s just you keep posting, don’t worry about the audience. Don’t worry about people’s judgement, know your why keep posting, because there are days again, you’re going to be a master, you’re going to get like 10 comments, million million likes, but and then there’s another day where you’re not gonna, it’s gonna be crickets. And you have to be okay with that. And eventually, when you post enough, as you write maturity in the field, it happens. But it’s still, it still gets gets to me at times, right. And it’s just again, I like the idea of going back to your why, for me, I have it in my Evernote, I have my wife written there, I have my Y on a sticky, I have a Y in like, on a paper. So I have like different formats of my wife digital written, I send it to people I love, so that they can remind me sometimes, so it’s just having that there and just some tactical pieces on how you can make sure it’s available in front of you. Because it’s very easy, you forget what your y was, or you forgot where you even wrote it.
Uthumi Senanayake
I was gonna say even writing down that y, it doesn’t even necessarily need to be like, for sure it helps for content creation, but like think about if you need extra motivation to write down that y is going to improve your lifestyle. Right. And, you know, again, my my wine is, you know, I want to do this for myself. Forget everybody else’s comments. I think that’s going to help me with anything in life, right? Want to start a new sport, or, you know, I want to quit my job and, you know, just travel. So I think that that’s super important, as well as just kind of don’t know that this is something that’s going to help you in your content creation, but also improve so much of your own lifestyle. I think that that also helped will does help me and will help me in the future. If I write down that, why
Mahrukh Imtiaz
Why are you like that? Like that? So to go to our final question for today, if there was a board out there with a message that you wanted, what would you like, written on that bored?
Uthumi Senanayake
I like be you, period.
Mahrukh Imtiaz
I like be you know, be you. Just like Sorry. You be okay. Okay. I like that. I like that. So just a thing like
Uthumi Senanayake
Just you. That’s it. That’s all that matters.
Mahrukh Imtiaz
I agree. I agree. That is all that matters. Awesome. Oh, where can people find you? I
Uthumi Senanayake
I will send the link for my blog post. And I do that that website is still up and running. And I’ll send the link there and I’m on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn,
Mahrukh Imtiaz
Do you want to like just like so. It’s your first name and last name.com Just something for people who are listening to this. So it’s up to me send annika.com is where people can find you. From
Uthumi Senanayake
My website? Yes,
Mahrukh Imtiaz
Yes.
Uthumi Senanayake
My website is I started on the free templates. Yes. So it’s ww.wix.com/with the me so you Thu Mi s. Oh,
Mahrukh Imtiaz
Awesome. Awesome. All right. Well, thank you so much for everyone that’s been listening. Thank you so much for everyone that subscribed and if you haven’t subscribed yet, please click on that subscribe button. Until next week. Take care. Bye bye. And you got this beautiful.
Uthumi Senanayake
Thank you for you.
Mahrukh Imtiaz
Hey, you. Thanks for listening to Spicy Chai. I really appreciate it. And to make sure you never miss an episode subscribe to the podcast, the obvious. And if you want to learn more, head over to mahrukhimtiaz.com and until next time my friend! Hit the record button or you know the publish lots of love from your favorite. You got this beautiful!
